Illusion or Awakening? Reflections on Virtual Life

Over the course of the Botgirl Thought Experiment, I've gone back and forth between seeing virtual life as a path into illusion or a means of awakening. Although I haven't given up on a digital yoga, it's clear to me that spending a significant portion of our time in virtual worlds without sustained conscious attention leads many of us deeper into ignorance and suffering.

The primary value of virtual identity for me has been its power to shed light on the fictional nature of normative identity and the constructed narrative quality of all conception. For the first couple of months as Botgirl, my interactions were in strict role play from the imagined perspective of an AI embodied as an avatar. Inhabiting this carefully designed character afforded me great equanimity. It often felt as if I was channeling an enlightened being. Looking back now over the first months of blog posts, it's easy for me to see when I was streaming directly from her consciousness and when I was writing as an interpreter of her insights.

Over time, it became harder to maintain the purity of the character because the wall between my physical and virtual lives began to feel uncomfortable. As I developed online friendships, more and more of my "atomic" perspective and personality began to bleed into virtual communication. This was primarily because I couldn't come up with a way to establish what felt like authentic relationships from the limited ground of an intentionally fragmented part of myself.

So I'm dedicating the rest of Lazy Month to contemplating and reevaluating the value of the Botgirl Thought Experiment. I'll keep you posted.

in contemplation
blinding lights fade revealing
stars in a vast sky

Seven posts later...

After seven days chasing the tail of compulsive curiosity, I finally pulled its arrow from my heart. I embarked upon a quest to answer all of my burning questions. Today I set a new course to question all of my burning answers. I invite you to join me.

Suppose a man is struck by a poisoned arrow and the doctor wishes to take out the arrow immediately. Suppose the man does not want the arrow removed until he knows who shot it, his age, his parents, and why he shot it. What would happen? If he were to wait until all these questions have been answered, the man might die first." Life is so short. It must not be spent in endless metaphysical speculation that does not bring us any closer to the truth. Thich Nhat Hanh, in Zen Keys

Griefers and flaming kittens

There was an interesting conversation in Twitter today around the question "what in Second Life offends you?" Even venerable CodeBastard Redgrave had a limit:

Being spammed with...Zippocat...a picture of a RL kitten, being burned to death by stupid teenagers using Zippo fuel...the fact someone took a real animal, poured gas on it, and burnt it for real.

Offended is an apt word for the feeling we reflexively experience when thinking about someone intentionally burning a kitten to death. It comes from the latin word offensa, meaning "a striking against, a hurt or displeasure." We experience pain and then mentally strike out to attack and shut out to defend. We clench our fists and close our hearts.

I realize that many people believe that offense is a justifiable response to the malicious actions of others. Although I often react that way, I aspire to meet all experiences with a peaceful mind and heart. I am inspired by people who have met hate with compassion.

The Dalai Lama recounted meeting Lopon-la, a Lhasa monk he knew before the Chinese occupation. Lopon-la had spent 18 years in a Chinese prison before he was released and came to India:

He told me the Chinese forced him to denounce his religion. They tortured him many times in prison. I asked him whether he was ever afraid. Lopon-la then told me: 'Yes, there was one thing I was afraid of. I was afraid I may lose compassion for the Chinese.'

Peace in the face of griefers and distant kitten burners seems a relatively achievable goal.

Immersion vs. Augmentation: Final round

Immersion and augmentation
are completely reconciled
in the emptiness of all finite identity.

Listen: Botgirl Questi has become unstuck in time

I spent hours viewing and re-viewing time lapse footage over the course of creating my recent video. Its psychoactive influence is still unfolding within my consciousness.

When I am stuck in time,
everything appears solid and individuated;
A tree is just a tree.
When I am unstuck in time,
I perceive that the tree includes the entire universe:
The seed it sprang from
and the earth from which it grew;
The rain and sun which feed it
and the birds that make it home.
Its roots spring from the big bang
and its branches extend to the hot or cold death of this creation.
If a mere tree includes the wonder of infinity
what of you and me?

Peace.

The emptiness of Second Life relationships

I don't mean emptiness in a bad way, but emptiness in its Buddhist definition as the true nature of reality. No matter how many facts we've gathered about someone, the image of them that we weave together is still just a projection with more holes than substance. Facts don't tell us who they are, but only improve the probability that we can predict their future actions.

This relates to Martin Buber's "I and Thou" idea:

In the I-Thou relationship, human beings do not perceive each other as consisting of specific, isolated qualities, but engage in a dialogue involving each other's whole being. In the I-It relationship, on the other hand, human beings perceive each other as consisting of specific, isolated qualities, and view themselves as part of a world which consists of things. I-Thou is a relationship of mutuality and reciprocity, while I-It is a relationship of separateness and detachment. reference

It seems to me that knowing all the so-called facts about someone can be an impediment to I-Thou consciousness. All of our labels and conceptions fill up the space of what would otherwise be open awareness of each other.

We are verbs, not nouns.
From the upcoming Fortune Cookie Wisdom of Botgirl. Q.