Thursday, June 19, 2008

Part 4: Where's Jolene?

We left Sue in the space between bliss and emotional chaos. Let's eavesdrop on her thoughts as she unknowingly steps off the edge of the cliff:
  • 6:00 pm: God, I can't wait until eight. Maybe I should log in now, just in case she shows up early. She's probably missing me as much as I'm missing her.
  • 6:15: Since I'm here, I might as well do some shopping. I know! I'll pick up something really hawt to wear tonight. I can’t wait to take my new outfit off for her LOL! Gosh, she makes me laugh even when I just think about her. I could use a laugh. My RL's so damn boring, I can hardly stand it.
  • 8:07: Hmm, this is strange. Wonder where she is?
  • 8:15: It's probably nothing. Maybe she got stuck in traffic. Darn. I guess I don't even know if she has a car.
  • 9:00: She's never been an hour late before. I hope she's okay. Damn, I really miss her. What should I do? I guess I'll check out a few more stores.
  • 10:00: Where the heck is she? God I love her. Where's that notecard with the new poem she wrote me? Here it is! I love her poems so much. She's so talented! Gosh, I can't believe I'm freaking out like this. It's so silly! Ok. I'll go out and dance for a while and have some fun.
  • 11:10 Damn! I hate this. People are so stuck up. No one except the stupid greeter even says hello. Where the fuck is Jolene? Now that I think about it, she's been acting a little distracted lately. Man, I hope she wasn't IMing someone else without telling me. Nah, she wouldn't do that. I've had it. I'm going to log off and go to sleep.
  • 12:05 am: Why didn’t she let me know she wouldn't be on tonight? The least she could have done is send me a message on Twitter. Damn. That's what I should have done. I'll just get up now for a minute and send her a quick tweet.
  • 12:07: Jolene, I’m getting a little worried hun. Where are you? Please let me know that you are okay as soon as you can. I’m still yours. At least leave me a message! That’s RUDE!
  • 12:08: Shit! Too many characters.
  • 12:10: I’m getting a little worried hun. Where are you? Please let me know you're okay as soon as you can. I’m still yours. At least leave me a message!
  • 12:12: Damn. I can't go to sleep. I'll log back in. Maybe she'll show up.
  • 3:30: I hate Second Life. Stupid Twitter. Real friends are there when you need them. I'm going to bed.
  • 6:00: Man, I don't know what came over me last night. WTF? Jolene's going to laugh her ass of when I tell her about my dark night of the virtual soul. I can't wait to tell her!
  • 12:00 pm: Jesus! You'd think she'd have responded to my damn message by now. I can't wait to give her a piece of my mind!
  • 6:00: I'm not logging in early. She can wait for me tonight.
  • 7:00: This is silly. I'm logging in.
  • 8:05: Damn. Damn. Damn. What can I do? She could be in a fucking hospital or something and I'd never know it. I heard about something like that happening here. Oh god. I should have gotten her phone number. I should have insisted for times like this.
  • 8:30:. Close your eyes Jolene, I know you can feel me. I’m needing you to contact me. I need to know you’re okay. Can you feel me? I need you. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Oh God, what should I do?
  • 8:45: GODDAMMIT, where are you? Shit. I should have been logging our conversations. What did I say the last time I saw her???? She said claimed she was lagging the last couple of nights, but maybe she was talking with someone else? I bet it was one of those Plurk bitches. Fuckers! Always showing off how fucking hot they can talk. I should have known Jolene would get tired of me. I'm such a fucking loser.
  • 9:00: Oh my god, why did I do this? I should have known better. People are shit, shit shit. I’ve told myself a hundred times not to trust people. They hurt you every time! Why did I do this? I know better. Why did I trust her? Everyone always throws me away. I’m a piece of trash. Sure, Jolene, throw me away like a paper plate. Just throw me in the goddamn trash you bitch!
  • 10:52: I’ve had it. I quit. It’s over. She lied, she absolutely lied to me and I bought it. Fuck you. We’ll see who has the last laugh you inconsiderate whore. You selfish nimrod. I thought we had something! You said you loved me. YOU SAID YOU GAVE A SHIT! FUCK YOU JOLENE. I QUIT this shit life. I quit.
Stay tuned for part 5: Jolene returns


  1. Part of me's a little upset, part is accepting that this could happen, but all of me wishes it didn't. It's getting to be quite a sad commentary on things, Botgirl.

  2. The journey's not over, so keep heart.



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A beautiful thought experiment personified through the imagined perspective of a self-aware avatar. My creator's site can is at