tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1536261291287674235.post2204544368883155178..comments2023-10-04T01:30:27.346-07:00Comments on Botgirl in Chronological Order: Your cheating alt: Botgirl's Guide to Living With LiesBotgirl Questihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01707252228872837054noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1536261291287674235.post-28391706373869192732008-06-02T08:07:00.000-07:002008-06-02T08:07:00.000-07:00"My final suggestion dear humans is to lighten the..."My final suggestion dear humans is to lighten the hell up!"<br><br>Best advice ever!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1536261291287674235.post-30606384291144562662008-06-02T08:23:00.000-07:002008-06-02T08:23:00.000-07:00Luminously wonderful advice! And once again I'm s...Luminously wonderful advice! And once again I'm struck by what good advice it is for life in any universe at all, not just SL, not just the "virtual" or "online" ones...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1536261291287674235.post-89072877725380232212008-06-02T09:02:00.000-07:002008-06-02T09:02:00.000-07:00I nodded in agreement with your observations Botgi...I nodded in agreement with your observations Botgirl until I got to "lighten the hell up" which seems all at once judgemental and decidedly not befitting the concept of and practice of "Metta". <br><br>Human emotion can be very powerful and not easily controlled. The concept of "caring for another independent of self interest" suggests that if someone is suffering we should offer comfort and support even if the problem is not "where will my next meal come from" but "my SLove broke my heart."Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1536261291287674235.post-82707710107748755752008-06-02T09:15:00.000-07:002008-06-02T09:15:00.000-07:00It is extremely rare that a SL relationship will l...It is extremely rare that a SL relationship will lead to a happy RL one. And I've known some RL relationships that have gone south once they venture into separate SL relationships. <br><br>I practice "Enjoy the present without expectations" and generally avoid relationships except for a few persistent avatars (you know who you are). It's been my experience that it's best to avoid intimate relationships as much as possible and fly my plane. <br><br>*peers out the canopy* <br><br>"Oh who's that striking avatar over there?"Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1536261291287674235.post-63378134748533919222008-06-02T12:00:00.000-07:002008-06-02T12:00:00.000-07:00jezabell and dale: Thanks. Saying is easy. Doing i...jezabell and dale: Thanks. Saying is easy. Doing is hard. Still working on that one.<br><br>chestnut: I agree that "lighten the hell up" is not a useful direction for someone who is in the depths of grieving. I don't agree that comfort and support for their grieving thoughts is necessarily the best skillful means either. When someone is suffering in a nightmare, it is not kindness to support their dream. It is better to help them wake up. <br><br>zoe: You seem to be one of the wise ones around here. Happy flying!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1536261291287674235.post-33592460455322087412008-06-02T12:43:00.000-07:002008-06-02T12:43:00.000-07:00Harper asked me what I do in SL since I don't have...Harper asked me what I do in SL since I don't have an SL relationship. I told her that I explore and work on my tower (build). Which is absolutely the truth. I'm in SL to explore, see what other things people have built (whether beautiful or atrocious), and possibly meet people, but I just don't see myself being happy with a relationship in SL, and am content to make just friends (because I want my partner to be with me physically, and I've never fallen into a long distance thing either). <br><br>It sounds more severe than that, but I'm just in SL for fun. I think trying to find a relationship would add a stress level that I just don't need.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1536261291287674235.post-27560644350207825772008-06-02T13:53:00.000-07:002008-06-02T13:53:00.000-07:00gahum: I imagine that one could spend all of their...gahum: I imagine that one could spend all of their waking hours exploring Second Life's creative aspects and never run out of something interesting to build or explore.<br><br>I think that regardless of one's intention to steer clear of SL relationships, romantic attraction is a potent force. I've met many who said they couldn't imagine themselves falling for a "cartoon character" until it happened. It is a great mystery.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1536261291287674235.post-14921712661972292222008-06-02T14:55:00.000-07:002008-06-02T14:55:00.000-07:00Botgirl...great post. I thank you for it. It comes...Botgirl...great post. I thank you for it. It comes at precisely the right moment for me.<br><br>The longer I am in SL, the more I realize I have no answers. Right when I think I know the "score" something or someone happens along and upsets that theory.<br><br>I agree with Zoe...intimate relationships in SL are not conducive to my well-being. But everyone gets a little sick every once in a while. ;)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1536261291287674235.post-69871767441247969802008-06-03T09:00:00.000-07:002008-06-03T09:00:00.000-07:00Sorry, I left something out and since you can't ed...Sorry, I left something out and since you can't edit here, I deleted the original comment. Anyway...<br><br>Botgirl: well, I guess I should say that I don't totally strike the idea off of my list, but I'm not putting it up there as a highly likely thing to occur. But, at this point in time, I don't think it would. I don't totally dismiss that it could happen, but for me, I just don't see it happening. <br><br>I think what also contributes to it is that I tend to be "lone wolf" in SL, rarely socializing with people or going to things like clubs. I don't avoid being social all together (and I enjoy hanging out at your place in Extropia), but I'm not some social butterfly there.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1536261291287674235.post-23405480532911741302008-06-03T14:08:00.000-07:002008-06-03T14:08:00.000-07:00Great post, very insightful and good advice, not j...Great post, very insightful and good advice, not just for romantic relationships, but friendships as well as they can be equally intimate and hurt just as bad when they end.<br><br>Currently I'm pondering the question of whether or not alts are in and of themselves deception, even if there is no "cheating" going on. I didn't think so, but it seems there are those who do.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1536261291287674235.post-80693308032305172142008-06-06T22:25:00.000-07:002008-06-06T22:25:00.000-07:00Botgirl - very thoughtful, and very nice to see so...Botgirl - very thoughtful, and very nice to see someone usefully applying metta and upaya :)<br><br>It's of more than passing interest to ponder whether love in virtual spaces is a dream or not. Certainly it's perceived that way. I've had my share of love and loss and of being deceived. Briefly put, I think the structure of sl makes it an ideal playground for the emotional manipulators, and a minefield for the trusting and gullible. (I fall in the latter category.) As an older person who encountered virtual life three years ago at the age of 50, encountering people who are roleplaying entirely constructed personae, complete with "backstory", and who aren't telling anyone that they're doing so has produced no small degree of disorientation and moral queasiness. Powerful mojo - very dangerous. The word should go out.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1536261291287674235.post-19289892130184809822008-06-07T01:54:00.000-07:002008-06-07T01:54:00.000-07:00Joonie: thanks for sharing. You stuck in there and...Joonie: thanks for sharing. You stuck in there and deserve a good break.<br><br>Ghahum: sounds like all is well then for the momement. Yes?<br><br>cen: the use of alts seem to be still an open question. I don't have a good answer outside of my doubt that there is a simple absolute answer from an ethical perspective<br><br>e: thanks for the phrase "Powerful Mojo," that's the most concise and evocative depiction of online attraction I've encountered.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com